i PASSED! a huuggeee load has been lifted off my back. i feel like i just pooped out 15 pounds of shit. RELIEVED.
it is absolutely the most horrible gut wrenching feeling when you have to wait hours to take your skills test!
here's how it works:
you're assigned an instructor and a number. 10-12 students per teacher and half and hour per student for 2 skills. i was number 10! it's terrible. on one hand you think "ok i have so much time to study" but at the same time you're so damn nervous you can't eat you can't think you can't study anything else you want to shit and pee every 10 minutes and you're just waiting and waiting all the while watching students come out and announcing they failed.
i waited and waited and stressed and pooped and cried before my turn.

the worst thing about it is that no matter how often you practiced at the skills lab, how well you did everything, how long you went over and over and over in your head and telling yourself you got it, the minute you walk into the room your heart completely drops. you forget all you've learned and you can't remember the next step as you're performing the procedure. i had already accepted my fate:FAIL!

HONESTLY. i have nooo idea how i passed. i screwed up so many times and kept forgetting. but everytime, i would catch myself and say it. i guess acknowledging your mistakes is a good thing.
my teacher must have been so tired and forgot how much i messed up because she said "alright.. well you passed". wow. really? thaaaaaaankkkk the Lord! i don't have to remediate.

alright. well 2 tests down. 1 to go.

gotta poop!

-abigail

3 major tests this week! PLEASE LET ME PASS.

I had an interview on Friday to be a student nurse worker at LAC-USC. I can't believe I almost chickened out on going just because I hate interviews. Why do I get SO nervous!? And why do I also fear public speaking? I don't think of myself as a shy person but when it comes to these things I freak out.
Interview went really well and I basically got the job. What sucks though is I probably won't start until end of October or beginning of November due to the budget crisis. Damn you, economy.

I only work once a week at It's a Grind. Paycheck was 100 dollasss. I know that's not a lot but i'm actually happy with that considering i work ONCE a week at a really easy job. Hopefully when I start working at the hospital i'll be rolllliiinnn with the cash monay!

I hung out with my aunt at shoreline in downtown Long Beach the other night. I was walking on the pier and saw the Hyatt Regency Hotel across the way and thought about my debut (bc that's where i celebrated it) and I can't believe that was 3 years ago! I am SO OLD. I know i'm not thaaat old but wow time flys by so quickly. Before you know it i'll be married with 8 kids (a set of twins and a set of sextuples juuusst like jon and kate). I need to go out and do more. Explore. Discover. Learn (besides nursing stuff). Meet people. I don't want to look back and realize all i did during these years of my life was study.

Can't wait for winter break!
I want to go/do any of these.
-Snow? Big Bear? I haven't been in SO LONG!
-Las Vegas?? Now that i'm 21, sounds like it would be fun. I used to HATE vegas.
-San Fran? i missss it there.
-Road trip? even though i get horrible car sickness.

Who knows if I'll end up doing anything. I would love to though! I never had a summer break. So i gotta LIVE IT UP in winter. yea?

-abigail

I'm obsessing over the idea of going to Kenya next summer. ooooooooh how baaaaadly i want to go. One of the clinical instructors at my school sometimes takes students to Kenya (where she's from) over the summer for a couple weeks to visit the hospitals, see how things run there, volunteer, etc. I want to go! I've always wanted to go to Africa to do some type of volunteer work. It has been one of my goals for a very long time now to go there. Volunteer. Work. Help. Somehow be a part of making a difference there. Somehow. Some way. This is my chance!
I've brought the idea up to my parents and of course they don't see how me going to Africa is a good idea. UGH. "it's not safe there. it's diseased. there's conflict. you'll catch malaria. you're an easy target" and as my mom likes to say "there are bad elements (in a very filipino fobby accent)" WHAT? what the hell do you even mean by that. bad elements? ok.
YES. i DO see their point. But come ooooooooonn. I HAVE to go. I would absolutely love it. To experience a completely different culture. Actually be there. Be with the people. See how differently they live their lives. It would be absolutely amazing. Ugh.. i can dream.

Oh. 2,000 dollar plane ticket. UGH. I'm never going to go. =(