Abigail

i PASSED! a huuggeee load has been lifted off my back. i feel like i just pooped out 15 pounds of shit. RELIEVED.
it is absolutely the most horrible gut wrenching feeling when you have to wait hours to take your skills test!
here's how it works:
you're assigned an instructor and a number. 10-12 students per teacher and half and hour per student for 2 skills. i was number 10! it's terrible. on one hand you think "ok i have so much time to study" but at the same time you're so damn nervous you can't eat you can't think you can't study anything else you want to shit and pee every 10 minutes and you're just waiting and waiting all the while watching students come out and announcing they failed.
i waited and waited and stressed and pooped and cried before my turn.

the worst thing about it is that no matter how often you practiced at the skills lab, how well you did everything, how long you went over and over and over in your head and telling yourself you got it, the minute you walk into the room your heart completely drops. you forget all you've learned and you can't remember the next step as you're performing the procedure. i had already accepted my fate:FAIL!

HONESTLY. i have nooo idea how i passed. i screwed up so many times and kept forgetting. but everytime, i would catch myself and say it. i guess acknowledging your mistakes is a good thing.
my teacher must have been so tired and forgot how much i messed up because she said "alright.. well you passed". wow. really? thaaaaaaankkkk the Lord! i don't have to remediate.

alright. well 2 tests down. 1 to go.

gotta poop!

-abigail